My Single Change That Made a Difference: The Way I Conquered After-Work Tension Via an Unexpected Discovery in the Attic

I frequently become like a coiled spring once the workday ends. Tension grips my shoulders, breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Typically, closing my laptop with a thud used to lead to the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Later, a few months ago, I discovered my now-adult son’s old school recorder up in the loft. I idly blew into it, immediately transported back to the days it was the bane of my life – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind long after he slept.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, along with a book – Very Easy Recorder Tunes. As a child, I was the least musical child ever. I took recorder classes in primary school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I viewed many kid-friendly YouTube clips, and got a fingering guide on paper. Looking up simple recorder songs, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it seemed like a major triumph.

My son questioned my actions (and please could I stop), but I persevered – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. Forgetting notes easily forced me to focus on the music sheet, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breath calmed, my attention sharpened, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I felt euphoric. I could play an instrument.

Today, after some months, I can handle other children’s songs and a decent Ode to Joy. Sure, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but to me, it’s not about skill or being a musician – it’s purely about the joy it provides and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, yet it made me wistful for my school years, and my son’s childhood.

I make it a habit to play each night after work before I do anything else, and in those 20 or so minutes, I am in my own little world. And afterwards, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me I was not only lowering my stress levels, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is precious at my age. For daily wellness, it’s truly an ode to joy.